Into Creating These Cute Little Collages

Yes I did say the word cut when describing my work and is that so bad and if so, why? Cute maybe because the size is smaller and some of the background colors are pink and purple (but not on the same piece) and the shapes of the cut up pieces I am pasting onto the acrylic and sand mixture covering the canvas can be considered fun and whimsical. Cute because they are an interplay with shapes and colors causing an interesting dynamic to look at. I guess maybe I have talked myself into or out of calling them cute because I do now see them as a little bit more but cute can be a word used to describe them, at times. Maybe I should let you decide and let my mouth and fingers stop talking now…. What do you think?

I will post one that is not so little and not so cute but one that I love because it has the quiet strength to it that I admire and it is a little bit whimsical amongst the minimalist background. I do hop you enjoy it!

Splice A Monkey

The below entry is from a blog post from over 10 years ago that I posted on an old blogger account of mine that I was just telling someone about today and thought how poignant it would be to share it. This is from the mind of a artist with a Brain Injury Disability, which I have. Enjoy!

SPLICE A MONKEY

Just Like The Original 10,000 Pieces there would be some days where I could only create 1 piece due to any of the follow reasons such as migraines, seizures, eeexxxtttrrreeemmmeee fatigue to the point your brain is shutting your body down within seconds (what else?) loss of equilibrium, short term memory problems (where was I), confusion, disorientation,increased tinnitus to the point it drowns out everything, (what is that?  I can't hear you) etc., etc., etc.
Today I knew I had to look for a painting I had done on this day, whether it was from the original 10,000 pieces or something since then, and my mind new that my brain was still tired from working a little over 6 hours on Thursday (so proud of that even though I was only able to do 2 yesterday).  I know it is toooo much to ask for my brain since writing this is taking for ever and I have other business related items I promised myself I would get to so I don't get behind, again.  So today I will leave you with something I wrote last night instead.
It is a poem of sorts and the title of it came out of the blue.  Can't get any more then that creatively since I know I am close to seizures right now so I will just copy what I wrote:
The title of the below poem came to my mind when I was envisioning telling someone about how good I used to be at multi-tasking (apparently as good as two guys put together and that statement was from a customer when I was working at Home Depot) before the Brain Injury and if now I would try to do the same job it would go like this "focusing on the task, interrupted by someone for a moment, then back to what I was doing and I couldn't even begin to remember what I was doing and the most absurd thing came to my mind "Splice A Monkey."

SPLICE A MONKEY

Focus, focus on your task, 

Interrupted, don't ask

Back to the focus, it lacks

Can't even remember where I was at

Absurdity is the key

Splice A Monkey, don't you see?!

New Artist Statement

And does it fit me? I think it does. I was surprised when I put it through an AI generated website that helps with writing your statements and I have tried a few, feeling a little less then satisfied by the time I came across one that I googled and searched for, nothing fancy, which was nice for a change, I decided to go ahead and see what it will deliver. I was more on the surprised side and glade that I was. It was nothing too wordy or too full of itself, it was just right and straight to the point about how I feel a lot of the time about my work. Maybe not all the time since I feel like I have at least a 100 different personalities inside of me just waiting to get out but it did score some points into my psyche’s awareness phase. Without further ado….

Kris Haas is a Portland-based artist who explores the primal and reactionary nature of the human experience through abstract paintings. With a keen focus on the momentary and extraordinary, Haas' work captures the essence of raw emotion and the complexities of the human psyche. Through the use of bold brushstrokes and at times vibrant colors, she invites viewers to delve into the depths of their own subconscious. Her creations are an ode to the celebration of the beauty and chaos that coexist within us all. Haas' abstract paintings serve as a vessel for introspection, inviting the audience to embark on a visual journey of self-discovery breathing in the existence of just being.

Value

Personal value is what I have been struggling with lately. What is my value as an artist, as a human being. I feel as if I have not been placing myself very high on this spectrum since it keeps bringing tears to my eyes. It is difficult to admit this and even more difficult to put this out there for others to read. If you, the reader, happen upon this I wonder what must be going through your mind as you read this. Do you relate to this? Is this something you understand? Am I only valuable if I sell a piece of artwork? These are important questions I must ask of myself and of you so you can become a little more aware of what goes on in an artist mindset, at least this artist mindset at this particular moment. No I don’t always think this way it just happens to be coming up into my consciousness.

I hope this makes sense to you because it is kind of making my head ache a bit. It’s probably the brain being over worked (remember I have had 4 concussions in which I have not fully recovered). Maybe I feel like like less of a valuable person because of the Brain Injury Disability. Maybe that is what is driving this latest rant in my head. Enough said, now back to work!

PRIMAL REACTIONARY ABSTRACTS

All it takes is a momentary pause for something to slip in, like the phrase ‘primal reactionary abstract,’ then your world can seem to be a little brighter, have a little more purpose then the moment before because a new thought about your work started to take hold in your mind. Does this equate with what you are producing work wise? That is something I can’t answer definitely, just yet. I am letting it sink in a little longer, letting it marinate for a little while (I can’t believe I used the word marinate) let it take time to absorb into my psyche. Letting myself work within the new context of these new impressionable moments, while always striving to understand what the possibility of each and every one of these new moments is capable of bringing.

That is a lot to take in, a lot to digest, a lot to sit with so more inner work will have to be done!

Opening Night At The Gallery…

I can’t believe I forgot to write about the Artist Reception at the opening night for the exhibit “Disjointed Reality.” I must still feel high from the fumes of excitement and buzz of talking to people, some I knew and some I didn’t, that I was completely devoid of time coherence. Family and friends came and people from social media accounts that I had been in contact with appeared to see my work and it was a bit surreal in a good way as well when people admire your work. Work that you have had at home for the past four years and only slightly posted about them online. No one else but me and maybe two or three other people have seen these in person and now for others to see them and to have wonderful comments about them makes my heart feel a little brighter today. Still a lot for my injured brain to take in though and digest it a bit more I will have to do.

Collage Paintings Are At The Gallery!!!

You would think I would be excited that my babies (collage/paintings) are at the gallery but I don’t feel excited. Maybe I am? And maybe it’s just the nervousness of everything actually coming to fruition that is shadowing over everything, pressing down the excited, the joy, the elatedness I probably should be feeling. Is something wrong with me that I don’t feel these things? Am I just doubting myself too much and not putting faith into my own work? My head swarms with ‘what do I do’ thoughts. Maybe I should do nothing and just breath and let the feelings come to me when they are ready. I will probably cry when I see all the pieces framed (courtesy of the galleries) and hanging. I can already feel my eyes swelling. Then there will be the audience. Actually, I realized I don’t care too much what others think about the work since I feel it is the most original work I have every done and it is about me and my life and processing everything that has happened to me since the accident that caused all the chaos to happen in my life…. But I digress.

The collage paintings are at the gallery……… now it’s time for you to fill in the blank!

Primordial Ooze

To go deep into your psyche, your own primordial ooze so to speak is difficult to do and yet it is something I am finding myself doing a lot of lately in order to get to the core of my substance of my belief systems that has created me on the surface. I am talking about this now because I am going back to my beginnings as an artist, my conception, my core beliefs, what drew me to want to be an artist. Freedom is a word that comes to my mind. Freedom sounds about right. Freedom to express myself in a language I understand. I just want people to feel what I am feeling when I am creating it. No words are necessary, just feelings. Feelings without words are more pure, more to the core of realness of life, more to the core of being human. Not a human doing but a human being, just being with my feelings of pure joy, happiness, satisfaction, sadness, anger, enthusiasm, inspired, excited, hopefulness, invigoration, angst, etc., etc.

Now I must just be avoiding the work I need to do so off I go to indulge in my primordial ooze!

New Work/New Series

The start of a new series, a new body of work is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. At least it is for me. So back to the basics I will go. Back to the beginning of what I was drawn to. Back to the core essence of what makes my heart sing when thinking about producing work along certain levels. Back to Abstract Expressionism!

What does Abstract Expressionism mean? It was an American art movement that emerged in the 1940’s and 1950’s. It was characterized by a rejection of traditional standards, a focus on spontaneity and gestural, and the transmission of emotions. The movement was fueled by an expressive approach and often resulted in large-scale, emotionally charged works. Abstract Expressionist paintings often show motion or the artist’s movements while creating the piece.

After re-reading that description (which came from the internet and not me) I decided that that is the perfect place to be. While in the past I have always considered myself an abstract artist it was the emotive part that I had a certain amount of comfortable fluctuations with. A sort of slight trepidation dance with it but now I must conquer those once relentless feelings and move forward into a more expressive abstractionism way…….. Like I said in the beginning, it is sort of exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

The Unseen Aspect

Something that is not thought about right away when looking at a painting is the backside of it. After all who really cares about what you don’t see, right? Well the reality of it is the artist care, at least the ones that have had numerous shows under their belt to show that they have had a lot of experience when dealing with the unseen aspect of the painting. If you haven’t guessed it by now this ‘unseen aspect’ I am referring to is the ever fun and just a little annoying (sometimes it is for me) wiring of the painting. This is usually the last step before handing it over to the gallerist before the work can be hung and it is the often time, tedious but absolute necessary aspect for without it all you would have is a painting leaning against a wall. And while some paintings might look good leaning against something while perched on something else, in many cases it is not so, so to the wiring I must go. Only 5 more paintings/collages left to wire!

When Is It Finished….

I’ve been contemplating that a lot lately. Why, I can’t completely know unless I know a little bit about the aim of what I want to accomplish and that I don’t always know either when setting out to create a piece. It might sound a little wishy washy (it does to me a little bit) but it’s only because I don’t like to force the direction of the piece I much prefer the piece tell me it’s own story. Yes, the piece (whether it is a painting, collage or drawing) starts to become it own entity in a way that I can’t even fathom the first moment I put paint onto the canvas or paper and so I just have to have my senses open to receiving the story it wants to tell. “So painting, collage or drawing, when will you tell me all of your secrets so I can share them with the world?”

Meeting With The Gallerist

The owner of J Pepin gallery came by today to take a look at my works from the Disjointed Reality Series that I have been working off and on since November 2020. In all 22 pieces were selected and varied in sizes from 14” x 11” up to 48” x 30” with the pricing varied just the same. It was a wonderful experience and I was very fortunate that I had the help of my assistant Maddy because I am so wiped out even after taking a nap and being awake for the last 1 1/2 hours. Ahhhhh, life with a Brain Injury Disability. You just never know how tired and in cohesive a meeting like this will make you. Jen is a dream to work with and so understanding and I am so grateful for having this show I just hope I can make her proud and that we sell a ton of works. I wish I could say something witty and charming but that will have to be for another day.

Preparing For My Upcoming Show

It’s a bit nerve racking (does that word need a w on it, I digress) getting reading for this upcoming show since it is work unlike anything I have shown before and it is the most personal. Have been working on this series called “Disjointed Reality” based upon taking old cut up pieces of my past paintings (which represent my past life) and put them on more current work that isn’t quite gelling and make it all work somehow. It sounds messy and chaotic and it usually is but that’s my life since my accident that caused the Traumatic Brain Injury. I have tried to move on from it but the problem is, it doesn’t move on from me since I keep getting more concussions. I am up to four now. But I digress again and I have to get back to the finishing touches of the series since my gallerist is coming over in a few days to select the pieces for the show. YIKES! Back to work I go!….